KUCHING: Listening to sufferers, providing support, and directing help to those who need it, can prevent suicide.
Founder of Befrienders Kuching and a licensed counsellor, Kelly Lee said it is untrue that people don’t tell others or give signs that they are going to kill themselves. That is why people need to be aware of their loved ones’ or friends’ suicide warning signs.
“Suicide does not have one single cause. Certain factors such as substance abuse and untreated depression can lead to higher suicide risk,” she said yesterday.
She was presenting “Recognising Suicidal Tendencies” and “How to Reach Out to Youth” at a forum on “Social Media, Mental Health and Suicide, Lowering the Risks” organised by Mental Health Association of Sarawak (MHAS) and Befrienders Kuching at Sarawak Islamic Information Centre (SIIC).
According to her, suicide risk starts with having thoughts of it. If the thoughts are repetitive and reoccurring over a long period of time they could lead to the “planning stage”, which increases the risk.
“If they have already attempted suicide before, the risk would be higher,” she said.
Statistically, males have been more successful in committing suicide compared to females, but females were found to be three times more likely to attempt it than men.
“Teens especially, have higher risk especially those below 19 years old. It’s the same with those above 45 years old,” she said.
She said when a person becomes suicidal an immediate action to take is to get that person to promise not to do anything harmful to himself/herself. The suicider must also avoid drugs and alcohol; the home environment must be made safe; and the sufferer must not keep the suicidal feelings to himself or herself.
For the long term, if there is suicidal ideation, remember it is a battle. Talk to someone daily face to face because the personal touch actually helps the suicider to get better. Make a safety plan; have a fixed schedule of what to do; do more outdoor activities and exercise; make time for joyful things, and remember personal goals.
Suiciders must avoid being alone; do things that make them feel worse; or entertain negative thoughts and suicide ideation.
Lee said among the suicide warning signs to watch out for are what the other person says. Also watch out for depression, withdrawal from human company, recklessness, giving away of possessions, drastic changes in behavior, unusual or negative attitude and appearance; drug and alcohol abuse; a major loss and/or drastic life change.
“What do people who feel suicidal want? They want you to listen; they need someone to trust them, care about them. So, talk to them openly about it, and help them explore options to live on,” she said.
She gave a reminder that when talking to a suicider, one must listen genuinely; be sympathetic and non-judgmental; be patient, calm, and accepting; offer hope, and take the person seriously. One must not argue with the person or act shocked; never promote confidentially, offer ways to fix their problems or blame yourself.
“So, if you think a person has suicidal ideation, ask if he/she has any intention or suicide plan. Ask if they have what they need (such as pills, dangerous weapons, etc) to carry out the plan, and when or where they would do it,” said Lee.
For long-term support, do not under any circumstance leave suicidal persons alone. Help them seek professional help; follow up on treatment, and encourage positive lifestyle changes.
For those who need someone to talk to or need emotional support, call Befrienders Kuching’s helpline at 082-242800 between 6.30pm and 9.30pm any day, or send email to sam@befrienderskch.org.my
If the Kuching branch cannot be reached, call other branches in Malaysia. Their contacts can be found at https://www.befrienders.org.my/centre-in-malaysia.
