Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet still become something beautiful.
– Beau Taplin, author and social media sensation
The butterfly is a symbol of powerful transformation – the ultimate metamorphosis. An entirely new animal evolves from one that looked and behaved nothing like this new magnificence.
The new animal is spectacular. Beautiful, vibrantly colourful with powers of flight that the caterpillar could only dream of.
Where the caterpillar crawled, the butterfly flies and soars. Where the caterpillar was drab, the butterfly is a kaleidoscope of colours, beauty and loveliness. But they are both the same animal.
Most of us are so afraid of change and its uncertainty, that we do anything to stay away from it. We are so comfortable with the status quo, that we choose it – even if deep down we know it is not good for us, or if it causes us pain, because the alternative seems just so hard.
The alternative is to chart a new territory for yourself, to walk in the wilderness, unlearn and learn again, start from the beginning after years of thinking you have had a head start, be alone and learn from your own mistakes.
It can be utterly terrifying to close the walls around you, go deeply within you with no one but you, as your own counsel, and figure out where you are going and what you need to do for the rest of your life.
But at some point in our lives, that change is forced upon us. Everything we know or have built may be taking a hit. We despair that we are losing our foundation and we believe we are crumbling, and think we are going backwards or stagnating while those around us are moving forward.
We think we have lost ground, lost time, lost history, lost our sanity … but what we fail to realise is that we have lost nothing at all, and that we are about to gain the greatest gift the universe can give us. A gift that does not come to all, just a selected few – to the ones who are chosen to fly. The gift of a metamorphosis.
Metamorphosis is the magic that butterflies teach us. That change ensures growth. We have to shed the old before we can come into the new. To take a step back and go deeply within ourselves so that our new creativity will be able to come forth strong and in a new light.
Just as the adult butterfly only emerges when conditions are right, what we desire innately and who we wish to become will only flourish on a higher level when conditions are right.
So when I chose to walk away from it all, from a 20-year marriage, a business we built together, relatives and friends we had grown together, a business partner and best friend who had become my only friend because I had spent all my 20 years just working and raising a family and forging no independent friendship or ties besides that, it was my equivalent of a cocoon that I crawled into.
For the first five years I was surrounded by the darkness of fear where I struggled to understand the new life and the new paths I needed to take, and though it was a painful transformation at every level, the new me was emerging.
I unlearnt what was not good for me, and learnt to focus on what was. I started feeling the ground beneath my feet more firmly. I made a new set of friends who were right for me in the new phase of my life.
I attracted a great team who synergised with my new vision and saw clearly the future together with me. I looked in the mirror and for the first time after a long time, I really liked and even admired who I saw looking back at me.
It took me seven years to get the love of my life back, and she was right there all along patiently waiting to be noticed. I ignored her as I went about busying my life, seeking validation from others to fill that ‘void’ in my life that I thought I needed to fill – a business partner, a life partner, someone smarter than me, better than me, someone who would be my rock, my support … but I had me all along.
I never believed I could be that person to fill that void. And here’s the truth I have learnt after seven years – only you can fill that void within you. Only you are the best fit. Only you can complete yourself. No-one else can come close.
So that’s why the butterfly spends a considerable amount of time in its cocoon. It has decided a change is inevitable. It knows that it has to go within and find that light within it that will work that magic. Just like we need to go within and find our light that fills us with so much confidence and power, to be able to create our own reality.
Once it has achieved it, it emerges from its pupa and flies away, without once looking back. What remains are just fragments of its old life. The butterfly does not look back and contemplate the broken pupa, the caterpillar it once was … it just keeps soaring and flying and making an impact.
Have you heard of the butterfly effect? A principle of chaos theory that a butterfly’s fluttering of wings can have a major impact halfway around the world – that small changes can lead to large-scale and unpredictable variations in the future state of the universe.
That is us. We are each powerful individuals capable of great change for the better. For ourselves and for humanity. But we need to be able to cross that threshold of fear that keeps us chained and be able to free fall into the cocoon that will squeeze, wring and twist you into unbearable shapes and forms and eventually push you out as a beautiful powerful being who has gone through the dark and come out as pure light.
Be the butterfly. Shed the habits that are holding you back from being your best self or from living the life you truly want to live. Life is a journey, not a destination. So fill it up with adventures, colour and excitement.
Be that butterfly effect.
The views expressed here are those of the columnist and do not necessarily represent the views of New Sarawak Tribune. Feedback can reach the writer at beatrice@ibrasisgroup.com
