Make a bucket list and fill it with dreams that have no boundaries.
– Annette White, adventurer and creator behind the award-winning travel blog, Bucket List Journey.
MY parents decided to surprise me with a trip to Down Under for my 26th birthday. At first, I was hesitant about embarking on long haul flights and travelling by myself. Then the thought “if not now, then when?” crossed my mind.
The reason behind my hesitancy for the trip is the condition of my vertebrae. In December last year, I underwent a herniated disc surgery at L5 vertebrae.
I have heard stories of people suffering from slipped discs and how excruciating it is, but I have always thought that it would never happen to me.
I think this is the same mindset and perception that any other human being has when it comes to catching and becoming a victim of a disease or illness.
It all started from a prolonged feeling of discomfort in my right thigh down to the foot. I initially dismissed it because I thought this was probably caused by overdoing things and overexerting myself during boxing training.
After going for two massage and chiropractic sessions, the muscle soreness did not subside so I decided to go and see a doctor. I was prescribed with some medication, but this was to no avail.
I went to see two different doctors who also prescribed me with some medications but the pain persisted. I was gobbling painkillers, applying pain reliever sprays and patches like an addict – this was all in vain.
I ended up soldiering through the pain because this happened during the 15th general election period followed by the state legislative assembly (DUN) sitting. Looking back at it now, it is insane how much of a workaholic I was last year.
By the end of November, I could barely walk without screaming and I could not sit properly. Everyday tasks like eating meals at the dining table, going for outings and even taking a shower or going to the loo became torturous endeavors to undertake. The pain had become too extreme.
As such, I was not my usual self. I lost my appetite, I isolated myself from others, and I was an emotional wreck. I had spent my days and night being cooped up in my room and in bed because lying down was the only thing that made the pain bearable.
A very dear friend of mine did warn me. he said, “I think you might be suffering from a slipped disc, you should get an MRI”. but I was in denial and did not want to listen to him.
I wish I had listened to him, then I would have gone for an MRI, find out the root of the problem and got better sooner.
On the day I was admitted to the hospital, I was both petrified and relieved – it was the first time I was hospitalised. I remember telling my mum that it was not like the countless episodes of “The Good Doctor and Grey’s Anatomy” I watched.
It was also the first time I had an MRI scan. Trying to get me into a comfortable position to lie down was a battle because of the pain.
When I was finally in the MRI machine, I only opened my eyes once. I kept them shut for the rest of the entire 40 minutes and tried not to feel claustrophobic.
Less than 30 minutes after the MRI scan, the doctor came to my ward to deliver the news. He told my parents that I had a severe herniated disc at L5 vertebrae – the cause of my month-long leg pain and numbness – and that I needed surgery immediately.
The surgery was expected to last only an hour but it ended up being over two hours long. Of course, I was knocked out cold and had no account of what happened after telling the nurse my full name and identification number.
I was very touched that so many family members, friends, and colleagues came to visit me. When I was back at home, they continued to visit and kept me company at home, bearing all sorts of fruits and snacks.
I really needed and appreciate the company because this incident took a toll on my mental health to an extent.
My doctor told me that I was lucky that my condition was diagnosed at such a young age. He also told me that in five to 10 years’ time, there was a high possibility that the pain would worsen and a Transforaminal Lumbar Interbody Fusion (TLIF) surgery would be necessary.
Of course, I now have to be more conscious about my posture, diet, and activities that I take part in, The surgery alleviated the pain but my vertebrae is considered a damaged good.
This means I will continue to experience back pain and discomfort if I sit or stand for too long and take part in vigorous activities.
Knowing my condition, I feel like I am living on borrowed time. I imagine this is what patients with terminal disease diagnosis feel like when told how long they have got left.
There are so many things I want to tick off my bucket list before it is time for the inevitable major surgery. From traveling to at least five different countries to owning a house, getting married, and having children, I hope I will be able to do all of these.
