Happy New Year! As the holiday season drew to a close, I found myself reflecting on the remarkable three weeks spent with my family. The holiday break was an excellent time to connect with loved ones, and spending quality time with my growing toddler was a truly enriching experience.
Over the past few weeks, I was delighted to witness my toddler’s incredible growth. Her outspoken nature and expressive emotions have been a revelation. She knows what she likes and dislikes and is always eager to help with housework. What a blissful experience it has been!
One afternoon, as I watched her play with Lego bricks, she asked:
D: Mummy, do you know why we cannot tell lies?
M: Why?
D: Because if you say lies, you will have a long nose like Pinocchio. Just like an elephant with long trunks.
Oh boy, where did she learn this? Her first reasoning was pretty true, but her subsequent statement sounded logical, and I couldn’t disagree with her. She then continued to share stories of her day, what she had for lunch, and why she teared up when asked to shower.
The most amazing part was that she knew the ‘why’. Children today are born curious; they don’t accept information at face value—they want to know the why, what, and how behind everything.
‘Why can’t we talk in class?’
‘Why can’t we watch tv?’
‘Can we go to the playground, please?’
More often than not, we tend to shun them off. I have to admit that I was one of them too. With so much expectation surrounding us from work, family, and responsibilities, it is understandable that we behaved in such a way.
Reflecting on these moments, I realised that while we are often told to be good listeners, I had never really listened to my daughter.
Whenever she said no, I would turn a deaf ear and expect her to just follow along. In reality, we cherish people who listen to us, so why didn’t we reciprocate the same to our children? Just because we are older, does it mean they should always listen to us?
Observing my growing child has taught me so much about parenting and parenting is all about active communication, not just through words but by engaging in conversations and making direct eye contact.
The quality time I spent with my daughter has helped me understand her better. This has also eventually boosted her self-esteem, made her happier, improved her interactions with other children, and strengthened our bond.
And I now understand why she disliked Guilin when we toured China last year. It wasn’t about the scenery; we neglected her perspective, emotions, and views. Guilin is known for its beautiful landscapes, but how could a toddler appreciate this beauty? All she wanted was to play, and I didn’t realise it until the second or third day in Guilin.
The first day was a nightmare as I kept asking her to enjoy the beauty of nature. Thankfully, I realised it sooner and found a playground for her to enjoy. In the following days, she was such an angel, enjoying the tour. Thank goodness for the realization and for listening to her feelings.
In this new year, let’s not take our children for granted, thinking that being with them physically is enough. The truth is, they don’t just want our presence; they want our attention. It is never too late to become a parent who listens to their child, regardless of age.
After all, parenting is all about communication; engage and listen to your children and understand their world. You will be surprised that they have so much to teach us if we only take the time to listen and spend time with them.
So, after reading this, why don’t you try putting your phone aside for an hour today and engaging with your kids? How about planning a family outing or cooking a meal together?
Together, let’s make 2025 a year of deeper connections and meaningful moments with our children.
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the Sarawak Tribune.
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